Reason #8 why my blog stunk

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Reason #8 Impersonal

All right, I knew this one was coming and that’s why I’ve been avoiding it.

I’m an Introvert – an internal processor – one who holds back emotionally. This tendency led me to an 8 year battle with self-mutilation (cutting), even as a pastor. I was ticked at God…feeling like we humans are his pawns.  I wasn’t about to let him know. Guess I had some Jonah tendencies in me after all – thinking I could flee from his presence, that he wouldn’t find out.

God brought my wife Kelly into my life and some other brilliant souls who freed me from this burden. They modeled the world of emotions for me, gave me permission to FEEL, and breathed freedom into this discouraged Soul.

Although my book writing has benefited from the infusion of my emotions, my blog writing has yet to experience this  blessing. I have yet to put this side of me into my posts. I guess I’ve just been afraid or embarrassed. Or both. For 4 yrs. I mainly posted about events, achievements, and activities BUT never unfinished thoughts, untested emotions, or incomplete outcomes. 

So I’m turning over a new leaf with this post. Putting yourself out there always invites relational pain and to be honest I hate relational pain. That’s why for years I was the one holding the knife. Cutting ensured me a coveted commodity -CONTROL.

Now is the time. 

Here I go.

I’m letting go.

Reason #8 Why it stunk in the past = Impersonal

Reason #8 Why it won’t stink in the future = I promise to put a bit of myself into my posts and stop hiding. 

See you soon with Reason #7

A few blogs doing it well ( i.e they include the human element): Anne Jackson, Perry Noble, and Carlos Whittaker.

  • In relationships do you tend to be reserved or take risks?
  • How has this been rewarding?
  • Has it come back to bite you?
  • Do you know anyone who self-injures?
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  • Justin W

    I am very much reserved. So reserved and in need of CONTROL of what I share of myself that this is the THIRD draft of this comment. My reservation stems (I believe) from fear of being hurt, ridiculed, non-acceptance. Although I cannot explain exactly what created this fear, I have my suspicions.

    Being so reserved, I take to few risks. Which leaves me frustrated, but not to the point of self-injury (bodily, anyway). So, I retreat and do not try at all. Makes me wonder what I am missing, which frustrates me further.

    Kudos, on opening up. I hope to do so more myself – I am getting there.

    God Bless.

    • Kary Oberbrunner

      Justin,

      Thanks so much for sharing yourself man. I can relate to some of what you are saying. Here is a verse that has helped bring some freedom to my life.

      Galatians 1:10 Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.

  • http://amanda-hamilton.com Amanda

    Well done – openness may indeed bring pain, but if we close ourselves to avoid pain, we also shut out every sparkle, giggle, gurgle of water, look of absolute love or joy …

    After all, it’s only a feeling – and feelings are not Facts and they won’t kill us … they’ll just remind us of the little places deep inside that still need our loving healing :)

    Well done :)