When God speaks we have to listen.

And He’s been whispering a bunch to me lately.

He’s been revealing some of my gaps.

I tend to be addicted to output, to progress, to production.

By feasting solely upon the Father I’m naturally going to starve my strongholds. 

So I am signing off for a while from a number of expressions, including blogging, facebook, and twitter.

In the meantime, I leave you with a couple of the messages that He’s fed me with these last few days.

See you sometime.

This is what the Father has been screaming, shouting, saying, and whispering to me!

Thank you Jesus.

I think when we turn down the noise of life, deep inside we desperately wonder this…I know I do…

In honor of my sister Sarah. Happy Birthday. God loves you…so do I.

This afternoon I was interviewed on Northland Notebook by Ted Elm of WWJC out of Duluth, MN . Our conversation was supposed to center on my new book, The Fine Line. Ted started the interview by asking me about the rationale behind my brand – Recovering Pharisee.  (Listen to the interview here)

Sensing an open door and being willing to walk through it, I shared about my past struggles with depression and cutting, even while as a pastor at my first church.

I think I shocked Ted. He kept asking questions and they got more and more personal.

Did you use a razor blade? Where did you cut yourself? Do you have scars? Are you still tempted to do this?

Why did I keep answering his questions? My heart goes out to the 3 million Americans who admit to struggling with self-injury. Too often I think the church is silent about this relatively new phenomenon. More than silence though, my guess is that we just don’t know how to deal with it.

So do you think Ted crossed the line in this interview? Was he too invasive or maybe not enough? How should the church respond to self-injurers? I’d like to know your thoughts.

Reason #8 Impersonal

All right, I knew this one was coming and that’s why I’ve been avoiding it.

I’m an Introvert – an internal processor – one who holds back emotionally. This tendency led me to an 8 year battle with self-mutilation (cutting), even as a pastor. I was ticked at God…feeling like we humans are his pawns.  I wasn’t about to let him know. Guess I had some Jonah tendencies in me after all – thinking I could flee from his presence, that he wouldn’t find out.

God brought my wife Kelly into my life and some other brilliant souls who freed me from this burden. They modeled the world of emotions for me, gave me permission to FEEL, and breathed freedom into this discouraged Soul.

Although my book writing has benefited from the infusion of my emotions, my blog writing has yet to experience this  blessing. I have yet to put this side of me into my posts. I guess I’ve just been afraid or embarrassed. Or both. For 4 yrs. I mainly posted about events, achievements, and activities BUT never unfinished thoughts, untested emotions, or incomplete outcomes. 

So I’m turning over a new leaf with this post. Putting yourself out there always invites relational pain and to be honest I hate relational pain. That’s why for years I was the one holding the knife. Cutting ensured me a coveted commodity -CONTROL.

Now is the time. 

Here I go.

I’m letting go.

Reason #8 Why it stunk in the past = Impersonal

Reason #8 Why it won’t stink in the future = I promise to put a bit of myself into my posts and stop hiding. 

See you soon with Reason #7

A few blogs doing it well ( i.e they include the human element): Anne Jackson, Perry Noble, and Carlos Whittaker.

• In relationships do you tend to be reserved or take risks?
• How has this been rewarding?
• Has it come back to bite you?
• Do you know anyone who self-injures?